I must say I'm very happy this movie now exists. For years I've sufficed to say that I'm shy. While technically true, Aspergers is a far more complex animal to deal with. I feel like I'm pretending to be "normal" and an eccentric normal is really all I can manage. My interests are limited but intense. Things that people take for granted, that should be easy, are hugely challenging to me. Talking to someone on the phone can be as difficult of a venture as scaling a mountain. I have to think about things I have learned come natural to others. Eye contact is very distracting to me in a conversation. I have to consciously think about it. I have to not only focus on what the person is saying to me, but I also have this running dialog in my head. "Meet eyes, okay, long enough... Now, glance at that tree. Okay now look back." I'm giving myself direction as in a movie, while trying to listen and absorb the conversation. If I'm tired from my day, I may forget completely, or if I'm comfortable with someone. The other day someone actually remarked "Hey! you're looking at me while you're talking!" They were delighted, which made me self conscious. I was so comfortable with them that I had lost the need to have the eye contact dialog with myself. We have brief glimpses of normalcy. It always surprises people when it happens. Dealings with people are extremely challenging, very draining requiring huge amounts of alone time to repair and often leave me feeling flawed abject failure. Yet, I continue to try. Loners we may be, but we do get lonely.
This movie has given me such a great reference point. When I've tried to explain Aspergers before I get frustrated and ask the person to "Google" it. They never do, which leaves things at an impasse. Explaining, summarizing can be so hard for me. I think more in pictures. Finding words for the pictures can be difficult. Having a youtube link I can now send...most handy!
Scenes that really speak to me in this preview.. The opening scene is fairly indicative. There have been so many times where I am on one of my little babble sprees. I'm in my own little world oblivious to the fact that this person doesn't want to know the history of Coton De Tulears, for example. Shocking! I know! Aspies have limited interests. We tend to lock onto something and become little encyclopedias for a passion. I told a friend this, but it's true, we are for the most part socially awkward nerds.
My passions shift from time to time. There was a couple years where I was pretty intense about folklore and mythology. Now it's dogs and flight of conchords. People who give you direction much like Adam's friend in the park are so wonderful. Rather than writing one off as weird, it is vastly comforting at times to just let me know what you expect of me. It's far easier on ones heart than outright rejection. Aspies need people to be very clear with them. We tend to not be able to pick up signals. I can look at someone's face and have no idea what their facial expression is. Not even a clue. I tend to assume anger if I don't ask, so I've learned to ask. You see Adam applying the same logic to see if his neighbor friend was feeling what he was feeling or how to respond once he understands she is upset.
I also love the scene where she has to be very specific with Adam that she wants a hug. We take things extremely literally. Yes, technically he can preform a hugging function, it's not til she asks more clearly that he understands. It's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's a good one. Rhetorical questions and sarcasm tend to not be our strong suit.
