Sunday, December 26, 2010

50 Things That Would Look Interesting Flying Through The Air

1) The Borg Queen

2) Various Borgs (Makes perfect sense after number 1)

3) Basket full of assorted lotions

4) A Bus, with passengers

5) A tank

6) Donkeys

7) Show Cat Breeders

8) 1 million unused silicone breast implants

9) Naked men with backs turned so you just see them from behind

10) 43 Yoplait Yogurts, full with lids open

11) Wilford Brimley and Jamie Lee Curtis having a deep conversation about Nerf products

12) Bean bag chairs of assorted colors

13) Scissors, lots and lots of sharp, pointy, dangerous scissors

14) A burning tire yard

15) Fiberglass insulation cut into Lucky Charms Marshmallow Shapes

16) A solitary jalapeño pepper topped with melted cheddar cheese.

17) Lit scented candles

18) Rush Limbaugh fans riding Dolphins

19) Feathered masks

20) Locusts wearing tiny hats

21) Al Gore meditating on top of a spinning globe

22) Sandcastles in a perfect V formation

23) Darth Vader in a Tutu

24) 14 Tiny ponies with waffles on their heads

25) Lions feverishly using their claws to make lemon zest (it's raining lemon zest bitches!)

26) Riding lawnmower

27) Prince, shakin it with bags of cheetos in both hands

28) Assorted terriers and a man who is enjoying their company far too much

29) Clear heels!

30) Potpourri sachets

31) Toast

32) A woman covered in buttered toast (like the borg a natural conclusion after the last)

33) A carved pumpkin filled with white ferrets

34) Chainsaws and linoleum floor squares

35) Pumice stones with signs of the zodiac printed on their surface

36) Wolverines and they are pissed!

37) Leather work gloves

38) A unicorn that poops ice cream and also eats nothing but ice cream, but hopefully not the ice cream it poops out. That would be mercilessly redundant

39) Satanists that only listen to the music of Morrisey.

40) Corn in all it's many forms

41) Dollops of crème fraiche adorning the works of Leo Tolstoy

42) Scaffolding

43) Minivans recklessly driven by border collies

45) Lilac washcloths folded neatly with little mints on top

46) AT-AT walkers

47) A clothes line with clothes and undergarments pinned on

48) A bathtub full of vegeteble soup (Sade music plays)

49) Infinite tubes of lube and 1 pizza

50) Alex Trebec cooking bacon in heart bedecked underwear while Klingons watch hungrily

No comments: