"Hello, I am Zanticore the great god of potatoes au gratin."
"AND I AM THE DARK GOD CTHULHU! ZANTICORE IS GIVING ME A RIDE."
"There's no need to shout Cthulhu. Use your indoor voice." Zanticore chided, turning his attention once again to the bewildered K-mart employee. "We are looking for a specific kind of wrench."
"WE SEEK THE WRENCHES OF ALLEN."
Zanticore sighed. "Honestly, Cthulhu. Again with the shouting."
Cthulhu glared at Zanticore. "IT HAS BEEN 14 MINUTES SINCE I'VE LAST EATEN."
"Yes, you relayed the message that you are hungry 12 minutes ago."
"15 MINUTES NOW!! LET ME EAT THE HUMAN!"
"You can eat later. For now I simply need to pick up some allen wrenches and some drain cleaner."
The two immortals fell into threatening silence as the young boy stumbled for words. "If we have allen wrenches they would be in tools, back of the store."
Zanticore's brow knitted. "If?"
"IT HAS NOW BEEN 16 MINUTES SINCE I'VE LAST EATEN."
"If?" Zanticore was not swayed, his voice almost a growl.
"Yes sir." the employee now trembling.
"Do you know what I can do to you puny human? Do you? It is the stuff of nightmares. You can not fathom what it's like to be cheese, potatoes and a casserole dish all at once. For, I, Zanticore, can turn you into a freshly baked pan of potatoes au gratin. Is that what you want?" Zanticore paused to do a dramatic cape flourish. "Well is it?"
"Uhm...what?" The employee now not only violently shaking but very confused.
Zanticore studied the display and smirked. "Fine, we'll go to home depot. Cthulhu eat the human who works in the irrelevant store."
"Huzzah." Cthulhu said politely using his best indoor voice and gobbled the tiny human.
Fin.
